Monday, February 16, 2009

East India Company Implicated in Academic Bribery (DP)

Dissociated Press
Monday, Feb 16, 2009
Marburg, Germany

In a surprise news shaking the contemporary academic world, documents found in the archives of the Department of Indology, Marburg University, reveal substantial East India Company sponsorship behind global indological research as recently as 2007.

The company, previously thought to have gone defunct in 1858, is now rumored to be as active as ever in influencing the direction of mainstream indological studies. The documents discovered apparently feature a re-confirmation of an original covenant dating to mid-19th century, signed by Max Müller and Ralph Griffith among others.

Rumors abound over the objectives and supporting forces behind the company. Senior officer for the British Secret Intelligence Service (SIS), who declined to be identified, has confirmed the presence of East India Company representatives in high-level staff meetings on several occasions.

Sources tell that the Queen of England is still bent on exercising her dominion over colonies of past, supporting the systematic campaign of misinformation interpreting old Indic religious texts as mere animistic ritualism. With the renewed funding of the British Empire, the East India Company is rumored to be educating the Indian masses on the Holy Gospel of Christ under the convenient veil of indology. (DP)

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