Friday, April 10, 2009

The Dangers of Incoherent Internet Usage (HS)

Half-Satori - Beyond the Holy Cows Half-Satori.Com:
Beyond the Holy Cows
DP Guest Editorials

Internet forums and blog comments tend to fill with the obscurest possible attempts at verbal communication. Many posts are so indescribably incoherent that they are rarely intelligible even to the architect of the verbal potpourri himself. It's all fun and games they say, yet few understand the very real dangers writing on the internet in an incoherent state of mind can cause to innocent readers.

Be a responsible internet person — consider the potential psychological and physiological injuries your readers may sustain when exposed to your writings. The following flowchart presents a basic five-point-program to help overcome the urge to post in heightened states of incoherence. If you are an incoherent addict, print it out and and study it whenever you feel the urge to post your productions to a website.

Exercise particular attention when posting to a site you are addicted to, as addictions tend to lower the threshold for emotional and irrational responses. A special word of caution is in place for addicts posting under anonymous aliases on sites they've sworn to never participate at again. While self-control and peer support may help some get over their budding addiction, advanced cases of focused iOCD are best left in the hands of trained professionals.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Star Wars: Cult Derelicts (DP)

Dissociated Press
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Hollywood, USA

The tragicomic saga of Ananda Skywalker, Finnish philosopher and Hare Krishna derelict, recently recognized as the prodigal son of a former cult leader, has finally reached the big screen. Written and directed by George Lucas, the narration is transplanted from the original alien environment into a familiar science fiction universe.

Screenshot with Wader and Skywalker from last week's Cult Derelicts teaser.

Matching expectations from fans worldwide, the long-waited Hollywood rendering of the saga explores the love-hate relationship of young Padawan and Dark Wader in substantial detail. While the juicy revelations do explain a great deal of Wader's obsessive-compulsive disorder towards Skywalker, rumors abound even the director doesn't know what exactly is going on in Wader's head.

Distributed by Warner Bros, the flick is scheduled for global release on April 15th. While heavily criticized by critics, fans have been going nuts with trailers and sneak peeks at SWcultDerelicts.Com. Looks like another box office rattler from George Lucas in the coming, whatever the critics' opinion!